What a whirlwind 2 years...

Two years ago this past weekend Andy called me with the news that he made chief.  With only 9 years in this was a huge accomplishment.  We were so excited.  He worked so hard to get there and sacrificed a lot too.  Here we are two years later, out of the Navy, screwed over in every possible way, and yet life still goes on.  The BS we had to put up with in Guam was unreal, and the amount of lies the commodore gets away with is just sickening.  It's amazing to me that in order to cover for himself he can destroy the lives of people like Andy who in his 11 years in the Navy never had a negative mark on his record, made chief in 9 years, was one of the top sailors in every command he had ever been at including the BUFFALO (until suddenly the CO had to cover his butt.)

Then as if all the crap we were dealing with wasn't enough I get negative and almost threatening comments on this blog and my photography blog.  Mean lies that were so outrageous it was almost funny, but written in a way that was threatening and hateful.  Isn't it sad?  I mean I am just a mom struggling to raise 4 very young boys to be good and honest people and for whatever reason, this anonymous person targets me, because they don't like my husband. To them I say, "GET A LIFE AND GET OVER YOURSELF! LEAVE ME ALONE AND LEAVE MY FAMILY ALONE!"

When the CPO Selectee results came out this past weekend, several of our friends were on the list and I am pleased as punch for them and their families who sacrifice day in and day out to be promoted.  Truly I am just thrilled for you, but I am also worried and scared that you will have to go through similar situations as us.  We pray that you don't EVER have to go through what we did/are.  And that is the truth.

My emotions are so balled up and knotted I don't know which way is up, but I do know that my Heavenly Father has a plan for us and that we needed to be close to home now, and out of the Navy quickly (well, somewhat.) We will work hard to get where we need to be, and move on from this chapter of our lives.  We will be happy and successful because we have each other.

I am not one for revenge or grudges, but to the people in Guam who threw us under the bus... karma.  It is awful, and it will come back around at you.  You think you are safe from it, but it will find you.  You can't possibly be as mean, spiteful and manipulative as you are without consequences.  I don't know what they will be and they are not for me to decide, but I hope someday you understand what you have done to my family.

Those people...

You know how there are those people in life that have a lot to say but they won't do it to your face?  They hide behind the internet and just spew out whatever hurtful things they want without the fear of being held accountable.  I find it funny that people with such strong opinions should be so childish that they hide in fear.

In the past week we have received a couple of nasty comments both on this blog and on my photography blog.  Whomever decided to write the lies and post them without their name, please know that we are holding our heads high and while we do not proclaim to be perfect, we have taken responsibility for our choices.

The feelings I post on this blog are my personal feelings, you can read them and accept them or choose not to read at all.  But one thing is for sure... if you are going to say things about our lives and circumstances, at least do it to our faces.

Coming to terms... slowly but surely

So the more and more I accept the things that are continually happening in my life, the easier and easier I find the adjustment.  Not going to lie, it sucks and I am still very hurt and somewhat bitter, but this doesn't mean that I blame my husband, or any one person in particular.  It was a series of  unexpected events, a lot of bad decisions, and no one wanting to take blame at all.  I realize that a lot of you don't know what I am talking about, and I do apologize for being so vague, but I cannot post particulars now and maybe ever.  This is more a post about my acceptance, and being so amazingly proud of my husband, my best friend, the father of my beautiful boys, and the best damn sailor I have ever known.

He really, truly is the best sailor I have ever known.  Sure he makes mistakes, but in general the dude has excelled at every command he has been at previous to the BUFFALO.  He has received many awards, and letters of commendation and has had several people offer him jobs without seeking them out.  He has made a reputation for himself as a rule follower, and a guy who is not afraid to tell it like it is. He is such a hard worker, and has sacrificed so much not only for his family, but for his country and that makes him a Hero.

He is human, mistakes happen, hindsight is 20/20 and there are things that are completely out of our control and happen according to the plan of our Heavenly Father.  I have to accept that this is done, and there is always a lot of blame to go around, but the people who always end up shining through are the ones who take responsibility for their actions.

The boys and I are so very proud of our Andy no matter what.  And we will make it through this as a family, because the blame game is not going to take precedence in our home. ;)

Yeah...

I don't think I can catch up at this point with my p52.  I will start taking pics again, but it got out of control with all of the sickness going around the house.  I think we are all finally on the mend, but who knows how long that will last.

So the day we had been dreading as far as the Navy goes came and went, Andy is officially not a nuke and not on subs anymore.  Now we wait to see if he can cross rate to do something different, but it is looking more and more like he will be forced out. I still can't believe this is happening and I am sick about it.  As much as Andy acts tough, I know he is in shock and hurt about it too.  It hurts to know that I can't help him, even as much as I want to. It's really hard not to be bitter, and it is really hard to think about that not being our life anymore.

For now we are enjoying our time together, and we are trying to plan for our future.  It is hard when we have no idea what is going to be decided next.  All we know is that we are leaving it up to the Lord and praying with everything in us he will help us get through it.  Maybe we just didn't have enough faith and we needed this trial to get back on track.  I just don't know.

As for me, I have been getting quite a few photo sessions booked and it is wonderful for me.  So therapeutic and relaxing for me, it really gets me to de-stress. Another reason it is great having Andy home, he is able to watch the boys so I can go and do that.  Thinking about what I want to do in the future, I know my photography will be a part of it, but I do really want to become a nurse practitioner and hope to practice in an OB setting.  I would really love to do L&D, but we'll see.

Adrian is wrapping up his swimming lessons, and boy what a huge change in him since he started!  He swims underwater and has no fear of jumping off the side of the pool to me. I love that he is so brave, but also that he knows to stay with me.  I am so proud of him!

Part 2 of the move... DONE

So part 2 of the move happened today, our shipment to CT. Not a big one, but still a pain. Thank goodness it is halfway over. Next move is long term storage then the express move to Guam (which the boys and I won't be here for.) We move into a hotel today so that Andy can paint and get things started around the house, and so that the boys and I will have stuff to do during the day. Life with no Playhouse Disney has been interesting, luckily Adrian has Granny Mary to save him and let him come over and play and watch tv and just be a 3 year old. It has been nice for mommy too since she has her hands full with the twins and trying to get stuff done.

I started getting all sentimental (a part of me that Andy just doesn't get lol) the other day. I pulled into the driveway and realized this is only my home for a little while longer. This not the first place we took Adrian home too, but this is the first home he has ever known. On the shipment to CT today went our bed and one of our dressers for Kate, it was weird to see that stuff go too since that is the only furniture Andy had when we first met. lol. But we are moving on to bigger and better things I guess. Definitely getting real that we are moving.

The twins are all out of sorts and so are Adrian and I. Andy seems to be doing ok, but he moved a lot growing up and is somewhat used to the chaos. We will eventually become more accustomed to the moving adventures as we continue through Andy's Navy career. One thing is for sure... we have many more adventures coming in the future, so we have to learn to take one day at a time.

Ok enough rambling as I have babies to change and stuff to pack/clean. Thanks for reading!

November!

It's November already!!! We had Dad here for Halloween and part of his birthday, and it was such a nice visit. The boys loved having him here. They are having a hard time adjusting to him being gone. Adrian told me after we dropped him off at the airport that "Papa had to go far away," and then he said "Papa's plane is going round and round." Papa said that was more accurate than Adrian could have imagined. lol! Then Adrian said,"Papa misses me so much." It was really sweet.

The babies are getting so BIG! Jameson started crawling about 3 weeks ago and is now pulling himself up on furniture, the stairs and us. Steven isn't far behind... he is getting up on all fours now too. I can't believe it. Such big boys. Jameson also started to say what sounded like Papa while Dad was here. We got a kick out of it. I still have to bring them in for their 6 month appointments, so we don't know how big they are right now.

Andy is still plugging along at work. He has a new class as of the beginning of Oct. and is doing the typical first few weeks of weeding through and stuff. Fun as always. ;) We are still waiting on official orders but we are going to Guam for pretty certain. Andy is really excited and I am trying to be. It is just so far away and with babies and stuff it will be hard to be more far away from family. I know it will be a great adventure and is an awesome opportunity for us so I am excited about that. I just wish I could pack up the whole family and go. lol!

As for me... most of you know I am pregnant again. Things are going well and I have been sick a LOT less than with the twins. I am due on May 18, 2010, and we are thinking pink this time. Other than that... doing the ombudsman thing for the next two days and Shannon and I have been pretty busy with our photography. Very exciting! Just a plug... but the fall colors have come out so if you want some pretty fall photos... call us ASAP! As always the link to the photography site and blog is on the side. The blog has recent sessions on it so check it out!

Ok enough... I am sleepy and going to rest. Thanks for reading!